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Frequently Asked Questions on General and

Brazilian Waxing for Men. 

Dearest Clients,

If you're reading this, I hope that I will have answered most of your inquiries, but I surely hope that you also have a sense of humor. My humor isn't meant to shock or offend but to elicit a chuckle and then a few. Brace yourselves! -- Blu! 

What's a Brazilian?

Commonly referred to as a "Ballzilian" or the waxing of one man's "pole, back, sack & crack!" A Brazilian is hair removal from a person's Private Bits. Among members of certain esthetic circles or Pool Halls, Biker Rallies, Locker Rooms, Cigar Rooms, Strip-Joints, "Your Week-End Knitting Group" or "Local Oprah's Men's Book Club" it is also known as McCrotchy's "On Fire" Wood or The 5-Alarm Chili Pepper.

Does waxing hurt?

Well, it's not like the kind of pain you saw in the"40 year old Virgin."That was all very real but it was purposely, improperly done, all for show...think of it as the"40 year old Jack-Ass Movie!" The pain fades within seconds and subsequent visits hurt less and you eventually get used to it. But does it hurt? Sure. I suggest that my clients take a non-aspirin pain relief medication or pain killer (one that does not impair your coordination in day-to-day functioning) with room temperature water 20 or 40 minutes before your appointment.

NEVER EVER DRINK ALCOHOL or take an ASPIRIN before seeing me...they're both BLOOD THINNERS. The possibility of bleeding is always a risk and even drinking a moderate amount of booze (one glass of wine) or one aspirin can really make your blood course faster through your system.

If you should show up without the SAFETY NET of a pain relief med or other, I will take my time to work with you at a much slower pace. I will always conduct a "test" around or near any area that you may desire to be smooth, especially if you're a Waxing Virgin. This will assess your level of pain threshold and whether you're a candidate for the service. Please, at this point, don't fear me or the service .... I really know what I'm doing.


Now offering "Wax & Relax No Scream Cream!"

Cuts down on pain and sensation associated with

waxing services...inquire ahead of time. Also for sale.

No need to worry about pain relief meds and FEAR!!!

Why wax and not shave?

Let's see here ... you wake-up every morning and before you're out the door, you've done your "Triple S" routine(sh*%, shower, SHAVE.) By the time 5pm rolls around, you've got a shadow; for some poor souls, a full beard! Over the years it only gets thicker! Same thing anywhere else on your body. Shaving stimulates potential hair growth and can strengthen the hair follicle.

What procedures are followed in performing a Brazilian?

Well, for starters, your pubes might be trimmed (if they're long enough for corn-row braids!) I cleanse the area for waxing. I apply wax to an area and the hair is removed and the procedure continues. The wax used for this procedure is alternated between a strip (Soft) wax and a no-strip (Hard)wax. I pull the skin tight, this helps both of us and I might ask you to do the same. After the hairs are removed, excess wax is then removed. A cooling solution is applied to help soothe the area, and then the area is moisturized.

After care/At home care? Down time? Possible side effects & how can I avoid them?

Stop, look and listen! Well, in this case, quit hyperventilating and relax. Although I can't predict or guarantee how your skin may react, my clients don't experience reactions beyond redness and minor irritation. Hair may break at the root or right outside the pore during waxing, causing some hairs to grow out faster. 

Please read and heed the following:

  • Avoid the sun immediately after waxing and please wear sunscreen; recently waxed areas are prone to hyper pigmentation (permanent darkening of the skin) if exposed to the sun; this includes tanning beds.
  • Avoid heavy exercise for at least 24 hours after waxing. Like the Gym, Pilates, NIA and Yoga. This is because you do not want to sweat, as sweating will irritate your waxed skin. You can pick up germs in those establishments with your pores "open."
  • Do not use exfoliating products (AHAs, scrubs, etc) and loofahs for at least 24 hours after waxing as they might further irritate your skin.
  • Avoid tight clothing before and after waxing, especially in the waxed areas. Tight clothing may result in irritation and ingrown hairs.
  • You can make your waxing experienece more effective if you exfoliate the night before your session -- either the area of concern or your entire body -- with a loofah, shower scrub or an Alpha Hydroxy Shower Gel. Go to your nearest "Joe Six-Pack" or "Joe the Plumber" neighborhood grocery store and get "Snake Peel" shower scrub by "Axe." It is easily accessible and affordable. If you're on top of your "Metro Sexuality," go and purchase products by Bliss, Fresh or Anthony Logistics at Sephora. Just don't be scared to approach the "little boys in make-up" for help. Don't judge them, they know their shit! Believe it or not, they're sometimes even prettier then some of the girls who work there! (Now that one's gotta hurt!)
  • Unfortunately, for 24 hours, NO Sexual Activity, Hot Bath, Hot Showers or Profuse Sweating after a Brazilian and any waxing service, while your pores are open, they are vulnerable to irritation by extreme temperatures and infection by bacteria. It's also to your benefit that you avoid Saunas, Steam Rooms, Swimming Pools, Hot Tubs and Fresh Bodies of Water (Rivers, Lakes,Tubing.) So unless blisters, boils and unusual pustules are your thang, control yourself, man.

How long does Brazilian/Bikini waxing take?

Depending on the density of the hair growth and if you've never had waxing done (Waxing Virgin), your waxing appointment will take between 45 minutes to 90 minutes. The same goes for backs, chest and legs. If you're a small-framed guy, time can go by faster on backs, legs and chests, except for brazilians, where you're looking at about the same time as the Big Boys. You can't rush this kind of waxing. 

Will I be 100% completely hairless after my first service?

No. Waxing is very rarely perfect the first time.. You'll be 99.9% hairless. There are 3 phases to hair growth. It has to be growing in a specific phase in order for it to be removed successfully. It won't be until you get waxed for the 3rd, 4th, possibly 5th time, 4 weeks apart, that the rhythm really kicks in and most of your hair will be in the same phase. 

Okay, how about after the 5th session? And do you pluck out any stragglers?

Although you will most likely be 99.9% hairless by the 5th stage, I can't guarantee that you will be 100% hairless. And as for the occasional stragglers, they'll just be too thin to be picked up by wax and it's not recommended to make too many passes over one area as the wax will tear your skin. And no, I won't TWEEZE (plucking is what you do to dead chickens.) Like an infected pustule/white-head you busted on your face only to come back as a vengeful cluster of 20, some things are better left untouched. 

How long should my pubes be before I wax?

Like any other part of your body that you want waxed, it should be a 1/4 of an inch or full growth. Please do not feel the need to trim your Tube-Meat Topiary as you may trim the hairs too short, thus screwing up your session. Besides, that's my job; you just sit back in Shock and Horror at the "Nat Geo Documentary" between your legs before you. Come on, now ... it really isn't all that bad. Remember to inquire about the cream"Wax and Relax No Scream Cream!"

How long will "the bareness/smoothness" last?

Every dude grows hair differently; the desired results last 2 weeks for the clean , smooth "underaged" look and 4 weeks on average between waxings.

Fact or fiction: over time, will I be completely hairless?

It's a toss-up, yes and no ... the hair will come in finer and start to thin out over time. So you'll be seeing less of me, but don't forget my other services too!!!

What am I supposed to wear for the service?

If you're concerned about your "Victorian Morals", I'll give you a modesty towel or floor-length gown! ... this is like covering the forest for the trees … But seriously, the more bare you are, at least below the waist, the better it is for me to do my job.

I break out with ingrown hairs from shaving; will waxing prevent that?

For most guys, yes. But waxing does have its own version of ingrowns that can be alleviated with proper at-home care such as manual exfoliation when you shower and daily application of a cosmeceutical product specifically designed for attacking ingrown hairs. Since I'm licensed, I can pick things up for you at a cos/esthetic pro-shop and I will give you a sheet of after-care remedies and explanations. 

Will waxing leave my skin red, and how long will the "smarting" last?

Sensitivity is a factor here. Redness can last up to an hour or longer. And the sensation is also not one that lingers. Again, I use topical analgesics before and after each service.


Now offering "Wax & Relax No Scream Cream!"

Cuts down on pain and sensation associated with

waxing services...inquire ahead of time. Also for sale.

No need to worry about pain relief meds and FEAR!!!

I've broken out after waxing before. Was this because the little Asian lady at the strip mall was a "hack-job"and a cheap stand-in for you?

Aah, well aren't you a God amongst men! Although, I am (Hello) the best Ballzilian waxologist, I'd surmise "Ms. Swan's" skills weren't the cause of your break out. There are quite a few reasons why this happens. I provide my clients with an at-home After Care & Waxing Mishaps info sheet describing the possible causes. But for now, here's the "D.L.": 1. After the hair is pulled out, the sebaceous gland (oil gland) becomes overly stimulated and causes a pimple-like reaction. 2. If bacteria is already present in the lower layers of the skin, the trauma to the skin could cause an infection ... and no one loves a Dirty Boy more than bacteria! It's important to be on top of your hygiene. Remember, it helps if you exfoliate the night before your waxing. 

Why do guys get waxed? Why do they wax their pee-pee's?

Different attitudes about vanity and self-image have now infiltrated or trickled down to the male species. It's good for the stud who models, the body-builder, the star-athlete, the dancer -- the go-go dancer, clean-freaks; it also makes getting into their favorite skin-tight, Super Hero Halloween costume easier ... or maybe their significant others prefer it. Besides, wouldn't you like him/ her to see what they're wise. It also helps control sweat and odor better with less hair to whisk that stuff around over the skin. 

When should I avoid waxing services?

Avoid waxing if you're on: Retin-A, Renova, Accutane or any other skin-thinning product taken topically or orally that is designed to clear the skin of acne, or when you're on antibiotics to cure a variety of maladies because they have a tendency to lower your immunities, thus thinning your skin. Avoid using your facial moisturizers for acne or oily skin for 24 before your service. If you've got a systemic skin disorder or sunburn, avoid any kind of esthetic service altogether.

Do you do waxing House-Calls?


The economy's been scarey lately. Do you offer special discounts for competitive athletes?

Yes. Show me your membership card to a competitive sports association and get $5 off. I offer the same for Personal Trainers but gym memberships don't count. And no, I don't consider competitive eating or yo-yoing or Rubiks cubing to be a relevant competitive sport (wagging my middle finger @ u!)...Same discount goes for seniors 65 and over, students with I.D.'s and fellow MT's and Male Estheticians (although I'm quite sure I'M THE ONLY ONE WITHIN A 70 MILE RADIUS!)

If I refer someone to you, do I get a discount?

Yes, in addition to my undying gratitude, you will get $5 off your next session for each person you refer to me who enlists my services. Fellow Male Estheticians (I'M THE ONLY ONE IN THE VILLAGE!) and my fellow MT's who refer me get an additional discount, too, provided they have some form of proof or pocket license and not something they pulled out of packs of Garbage Pail Kids cards, Series One and Two.(Yes, I collected them as a squiddo in the eighties and I still have my copies and I'm very familiar with those phony licenses!) 

How do I prepare for a session?

Just make sure you've bathed or showered, scrubbing your "frog" front and back; and a little deodorant doesn't hurt. Also, I stress that you show up in loose-fitting clothing to avoid irritation and discomfort. When all is done, I clean the area for excess wax, soothe the area with Aloe Gel and moisturize with a calming balm. Unless you get clippered, in which case, I just dust with powder and use a hand towel to remove fallen hairs from your skin, then moisturize with an analgesic balm to cut down on itchiness on your way home.

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